When Two Become One
My wife & I just finished going through the McCluskey's book When Two Become One: Enhancing Sexual Intimacy in Marriage. We both found it helpful in a number of ways. The McCluskey's are sex therapists & deal with couples who are on the brink of divorce to those who are just looking for something to revitilize their marriage. They share a number of stories of clients who came in for advice & how they can restore intimacy (esp. sexual intimacy) in their marriage. The benefit of this is that many times if you have a problem within your marriage (esp. one of a sexual nature) you are very unlikely to ask for advice, or share that with someone else to find help. So the benefit of these stories are that they make you realize that many people have similar issues you & your spouse have, or that couples all struggle in one way or another. Your marriage is not alone in its struggle.
One of the main concepts the McCluskey's try to get across is that sexuality is something we must take from the devil & claim for God. They say, "remember that we are claiming back sex from the enemy. He has perverted [sexuality]...Claim[it] back for you & your husband."
The McCluskey's break the book down into three sections. First is the overview. What is the problem, why the problem is so difficult to fix, & the real plan that God has for sexuality in marriage. The second section is their model for sex. The call it the "Lovemaking Cycle". It involves four distinct progressions which all need to be given adequate attention for the entire cycle to go smoothly. The final section deals with real questions which they have been asked by both men & women in regards to sexual intimacy & the McClusky's responses. You will more than likely not find every question applicable, but many of them are.
A good use of this book would be for pastors to use when counseling couples of all age ranges & experience. It is quite a helpful work & is also ideal for individual couples to go through. At the end of each chapter, there are four questions for the coulpes to ask one another & to discuss. These are probably worth the price of the book itself. My wife & I found that just discussing this openly with one another is helpful, & these questions provide an excellent starting point for that communication.
You can purchase this book for 20% off here.