The Moms on Call Guide to Basic Baby Care

When my wife and I brought our little Jack home 3 weeks ago, we did what I expect most new parents do. We looked at one another and questioned the wisdom of the hospital in letting two people with less knowledge take home a little person completely unable to take care of themselves.
Luckily, people with experience have written books and produced materials for the rest of us, who haven't a clue. Well, the self-proclaimed "moms on call" have eight children between them and have written a very helpful book for parents of children 6 months and under, Guide to Basic Baby Care. Also included in the book is a DVD which demonstrates many of the daily and routine baby necessities (such as nail clipping, bathing, and swaddling).
The book is really a handy reference manual to have. It is not a book you would sit down with and read straight through, like some baby care books. It is sectioned off for quite and handy reference when you find yourself in a situation when your child may be projectile vomiting or is scratching his eyes out with his nails that grow like weeds.
Another helpful section in the book is the last section on medical professionals. What to expect at the hospital, a who's who of staff, and insurance. This is a helpful book, and one I would recommend. Also helpful is their website, momsoncall.com.

Other Books on this Subject:
What to Expect the First Year
The New Father
You Baby's First Year Week-by-Week (we found this book the most helpful of all)

When Two Become Three

Having just "become three", I picked up this book and was hoping to glean some insights into parenting, but mostly into marriage. This book proposes to encourage readers to "nurture their marriage after baby arrives." This is something that my wife was especially concerned about. We have been married for just over five years, and are the strongest in our marriage we have ever been. We did not want to lose what we had put so much time and effort into building. We also did not wish to be a couple that was defined by their child.
I am a firm believer that the best parents work more on their marriage, than their individual parenting skills. Dr. Crawford writes in a conversational manner about the various marital breakdowns that can occur after a baby comes into the picture. From communication (always a lurking problem - with or without baby) to parenting philosophy, to sex, Dr. Crawford helps couples not only get through the transition of a growing family, but actually helps couple strengthen their marriage through this.
If I were to put the book into one word that describes what needs to be done in your marriage when a baby arrives, it would be intentionality. Both partners need to be intentional about maintaining their covenant to one another and must continue to work on it, not resting on the work that has already been laid.
One criticism I would offer the book is one I would offer to most parenting books. Dads are parents too. Many of the books I have perused have "dad sections" where dads should at least read this portion of the book, if they are not interested in reading the rest of the book. I gotta tell you, it seems our culture complains about, but also perpetuates the mom is the main parent rubbish.
Dads are more than just a support for moms with the kids. Dads are to actively involved and hands on. I think that many dads are, but moms are seen as the primary care-giver for children. I was pleased to come across a blog-ring of stay-at-home dads (especially as I may soon become one myself) and would like to see more written about holistic parenting - in the sense that parents are equals and all involved - children and both spouses - look at it that way.

The Expectant Father

This morning, my wife and I will be going into the hospital so she can be induced. This will be our first child and I'll tell you that my wife is petrified. Well, for Christmas, my sister-in-law bought me the book, The Expectant Father. I have found it relatively helpful. Each chapter goes through a month of the pregnancy and the last few chapters deal with the labor, delivery and first week or so at home.
The author tells you what most likely is going on with your wife, what is going on with your baby and what feelings you may be having. He then delves into the different aspects a father needs think about, from finances, support for your wife and education.
This is a helpful book for general issues, but I would not recommend it as an end-all. It has no mention of the spiritual side of fatherhood, nor of the fact that you cannot be a good parent if you are not a good husband first.
Anywho, I will be taking a break for a bit, having more diapers in my hands that books, so keep reading and I'll be back in a few weeks.

Now What?

With the due date of our first child later this week, I picked up, Now What? The Chapman Guide to Marriage after Children. It is a little book that you can easily finish in one sitting. Gary Chapman has made a career out of his theory of the five love languages, and has now added the concept of four "seasons" of marriage. I have read and found both books helpful - The Four Seasons of Marriage & The Five Love Languages - and this book was so small and so appropriate that I looked forward to hearing what Now What? had to say.
Dr. Chapman spends five chapters talking about the things which can cause strain in a marriage - discipline, finances, and schedules, as well as talking about the importance of simply making marriage a priority and what the key to maintaining or re-establishing intimacy is.
This is not a book on parenting - it is a book on marriage as parents. One of the things I read again and again is books by Christian authors as well as non-Christian authors is that the best parents are the ones who have a strong, healthy marriage - and continue to work on it. This is something that my wife and I have taken seriously, and even though we have a number of parenting books in our "to read" queue, the marriage books are the ones we want to give the most time and attention to - and not just now, but throughout the course of our marriage.
As far as Now What? goes, I would recommend reading the aforementioned Four Seasons of Marriage and The Five Love Languages. If you can find Now What? at the library, definitely check it out, but much of the material you can find in those books.

Other books relating to this topic:

When Two Become Three
Creating an Intimate Marriage
Becoming a Dad

My First Message

Designed to encourage parent-child interaction, My First Message is a great devotional Bible for kids. It features phenomonal artwork (drawn by former Disney animators & animators from VeggieTales), is easily understandable (from Eugene Peterson's The Message), and helps little readers think about the stories in the Bible for themselves.
I am not a little jealous that this Bible was not around when I was little. I am so excited for my child to be able to use it though (it will be a while, the age range is for kids 4-8). Of the many features I like about it, some of the great distinctions it has with other kid's Bibles I've seen are:

• It does not gloss over the crucifixion - multiple pictures of Jesus on the cross and even carrying his cross. Many others either show only his feet while on the cross while telling the redemption story
• Equal pages given to both Old and New Testaments - many others tell more of the Old Testament stories and Jesus' life, but leave the rest of the NT letters alone
• It tells the story of Jesus driving out the money-changers from the temple. I think it is good for kids not to see only a "cuddly" Jesus, but a real portrait of his life & ministry.

I am very excited about this book and highly recommend it for parents and children's workers alike.

The Beginner's Bible

Every night I read out loud a story from The Beginner's Bible to my wife's stomach. We want to inundate our child with Scripture, and we're starting early! The Beginner's Bible is for ages 6 and under and puts the Bible in short manageable stories appropriate for that age group. It has over 90 stories from the Bible and fantastic illustrations of those stories.
I must say, though, that I am a bit conflicted with it. I do not know if I am over-reacting or too sensitive to this, but much of the Bible is PG-13, if not R & these stories are more harmless than G rating. Now, I realize that you might not want to tell 3 year old the story of Lot's drunkenness, or of the Levite's concubine, or Elisha & the bear, but no David & Bathsheba, Goliath "looks cuddly like a teddy bear" (my wife's words) on the cover and only showing the feet of Jesus on the cross, seems a bit odd. I want my kid to know how much Jesus loved him/her, by dying for us. I want them to know that Mommy and Daddy only love and are with one another.
In our culture which is over-sexed and focused on self-esteem, I want our kid to have a healthy knowledge of sex and a proper view of self, to say the least. I also want to start as early as possible to instill that in them. Now, mind you, I have never raised a child before. Am I totally off-base?
Overall, this is a good start for kids to hear certain stories of the Bible. I would much rather them reading stories from the Bible than the Wiggles (those guys creep me out). There is a whole line of board books from Zondervan which have stories from the Bible with the same illustrator as The Beginner's Bible. I plan to get all of them.

Your Child - DVD

It is a good thing my wife & I got a dog 3 years ago. He is a little black dachshund named Zeus and somebody (I am not going to say who) spoils him rotten. Discipline was never consistent & he does not listen until the 8th time you tell him "no". (He really is a good dog, he just has a mind of his own).
Anyway, expecting the arrival of our first child, we definitely know some of what not to do, and we know the importance of good discipline and healthy boundaries, but we did not know where to being with them.


The Your Child: Essentials of Discipline video seminar was so helpful. I had originally reviewed it for work, to be familiar with it, but was so impressed with it, that I picked up the home edition and my wife and I went through it. The overall premise of the curriculum is to give parents principles to develop a successful game plan for raising their child - especially in the area of discipline.
Dr. James Dobson leads 12 sessions of about 20 minutes in various aspects of theory and practice of discipline. To spank or not to spank, if so when? How do you keep from blowing up in anger when you kids will not listen? What is the proper balance between love and discipline? When are your kids being defiant & when are they just being kids? Moving through stages of childhood (from birth to adolescence), Dr. Dobson address these and other questions.

I really cannot stress how helpful this has been to my wife & me. We used the home edition, but I would also recommend the main curriculum kit which is ideal for small groups and parenting Sunday school classes, or ABFs. In our small group, we have a couple new first-time parents and in the brief time we spend talking to one another, we pick up helpful hints and also see other perspectives that we may not have come across otherwise. This would be a great tool to use in a group and will spark discussion, stimulate thinking and overall, will be very helpful.

Bringing Up Boys Kit

When I was associate pastor in California, one of the Sunday School classes for adults went through Dr. Dobson's Bringing Up Boys curriculum. I was not in on that, because I taught my own class & did not have any plans of having children in the near future. All the parents in that class raved about this seminar & so I recently decided to view it for myself.
The seminar is 12 sessions ranging from 35 to 70 minutes each and is based on Dr. Dobson's popular book of the same title. How the course works is when you meet, the group starts off with some pertinent icebreaker questions (provided) which tie in that segment's teaching. You then watch the video, which is Dr. Dobson leading the seminar for a large group at the Focus on the Family Headquarters in Colorado Springs. Dr. Dobson is a great communicator (this was the first I had heard him speak). He engages the listener with story and has many wise things to say. Then the group talks through the sessions together and discusses some of the teaching and how it relates to their own situations. There is also different questions for parents of elementary, preschool & adolescent boys.
Dr. Dobson's premise is that boys are a world apart than girls, & raising them takes on completely different strategies. He stresses the point that fathers are of vital importance to the upbringing of boys and that one major factors in the reason boys go wrong is the absence of a dad.
Also, Dr. Dobson points out the fact that some dads do not know how to relate to their boys because they are different from them (don't get into the same things, maybe more sensitive, etc.) and so they subtly disconnect. This has tremendous implications for how boys develop.
This seminar is very well done and I would recommend it to any parent of boys.

Revolutionary Parenting

In 2003, George Barna wrote a book called Transforming Children into Spiritual Champions. That book has been a favorite among children's ministry workers ever since. In Mr. Barna's new book, Revolutionary Parenting, he looks at parents who have raised up spiritual champions and what the research showed they did differently than your typical parents. This is not a book of make sure you do this, or don't do this. It is less technique and more intentions. Mr. Barna believes that his research shows that revolutionary parents are specifically intentional about their parenting.
What is a Spiritual Champion? "Individuals who have embraced Jesus Christ as their Savior and Lord; accept the Bible as truth and as the guide for life; and seek to live in obedience to its principles and in search of ways to continually deepen their relationship with God. Spiritual champions live in ways that are noticeably different from the norm - even when compared to the average churchgoer."
So Mr. Barna went out interviewing scores of parents who had raised spiritual champions as well as those spiritual champions themselves. (Sadly, I did not make the cut - although through no fault of my parents!) What Mr. Barna found out from those interviews and other research he passes along to the reader.
I found this book to be quite helpful, as my wife & I are preparing for our first child. We have conversations constantly about different ways of raising him/her. Revolutionary Parenting points to one objective as a parent - that of raising your children for Jesus. As a parent, this is your most important duty, according to Mr. Barna. God has allowed you, as parents, to raise his child & we have an obligation to point them back to him.

You Have What It Takes / You Are Captivating

These two little booklets (You Have What It Takes: What Every Father Needs to Know, & You Are Captivating: Celebrating a Mother's Heart) came in the other day and as a parent to be, I held the aside to look them over. In essence, they are scaled down versions of their books (Wild at Heart & Captivating) reworked to speak directly to parents.
The overall message is that every child asks one overarching question in life (different for both boys & girls) and that as a parent, it is your job to answer those questions for your children. This may present a problem if your parents did not help you work through the answers to these questions. John & Stasi Eldredge briefly point the reader in the right direction to answer those questions for themselves.
These booklets (both under 60 pages) are very quick reads & offer the reader a inkling into the larger works by the authors as well as give sound advice for parents. Having never read any of Mr. Eldredge's work before, this peeked my interest in going further in his writings.

Becoming a Dad

I picked up this book because in a few short months, I am “Becoming a Dad”. This was not something that my wife & I were trying for & has taken us completely by surprise. So, I am trying to get my hands on some of the best books on the subject. For Christmas, my sister-in-law gave me The Expectant Father. So far, these are the only two books I have looked at. The Expectant Father goes through each month of the pregnancy & shares what is happening with the baby’s development at that time, the range of emotions & physical changes your wife probably is going through each month and different aspects of pregnancy from a father’s perspective. It is a helpful book, but I found Becoming a Dad much more uplifting & helpful.

Becoming a Dad is written by Stephen James & David Thomas who have seven children between them. It would be helpful to fathers who are expecting their first or eighteenth child – or even not expecting at all, just a dad. The subtitle promotes it as a “Spiritual, Emotional and Practical Guide.” It definitely fits that bill. Each chapter walks the reader through those areas & helps you find your role as a father.

While having numerous tips, heads-ups & lists, the real value that I found was in the spiritual dimension of the book. Chapters cover a range of questions from “What if I Screw up Another Person’s Life?” to “Do I Want to Be a Father?” to “What if My Wife Loves the Baby More than Me?” The tone of these questions seem to imply a sense of being overwhelmed & even helpless, but they lead you into God’s design for biblical fatherhood & a strong dependence upon Him.

Over and over, the authors say that the key to being a great parent and father is to be a great husband and man of God. These are the first and vital things that need to be evident & in place as a father. They also say that “the secret to being a great father is being willing to learn from your children.”

This book is a great resource whether you are an expectant father or an empty-nest father. You can pick up a copy at nsresources.com for 20% off.